It hurts. No doubt about it.

For several years, the notion of going into administration captured my interest. Each time, however, when an administrative position opened, I found a lack of fit between the role and my goals. I had almost convinced myself that perhaps administration is not right for me. And then the intern Dean for the College of Business announced a new position as Assistant Dean of the Thomas Arthur Graduate School of Business. Bam! This was it. Ten years sitting on the graduate committee created a passion in me for excellence in these programs. This new role would super charge my ability to actualize that excellence.

For three months, I worked on my application and prepared for the search. After an hour long interview with the search committee, I, along with one of colleagues, was invited to present my vision for the Grad School. After spending nearly a week working on the presentation, I spoke to a room full of professors. I left feeling good.

However, the other candidate was also a high quality individual. We had spent a couple years together on the Faculty Senate and got along great. I knew she could handle the job well too. So, while I was hopeful, I knew that the decision would likely be difficult.

“The talk”

As I was leaving the presentation, the Dean said he hoped to make a decision by early next week. On Tuesday morning, he emailed me asking for my cell phone number. After I shared it, he said he would call in an hour.

That was a long hour. Focusing on work when your mind won’t let you creates for a stressful time.

When he called, my heart raced. This was the moment of truth, a time for great excitement or severe disappointment. He started with “I wanted to thank you for putting yourself out there and interviewing for this position. But…” Well, you can guess the “but”. Rejection!

Post rejection

After our call, I spent about an hour trying to convince myself that the Dean made the wrong decision. “I had more experience!” “I had a solid vision!” “I had more passion!” That didn’t work though, because deep down I knew the other candidate was a fine choice. That bit of honesty kept me from falling down a deep rabbit hole of self-pity.

After that hour of wallowing, I did something that pulled me back out. I started re-reading some of my previous blog posts, such posts as Creation is the Hear of Happiness and my 2021 Reflection. It was during this look back that I realized, my life is already really, really good. I have a career I like, a wonderful family, and great friends. Sure, I’m disappointed I was not offered the job. But considering everything else in my life, things are great!

While reading those posts, I poured myself a Scotch and reflected on my goals. Yes, I’m going to be alright. I should expect a short term drop in motivation, but I will quickly bounce back because I have a Central Purpose to my life. Rejection sucks, but its not the end of the world.